We have grown accustomed to seeing police cars next door over the past couple of years that we have lived here. Our neighbor, Chris seems to find trouble at every turn. He's very smart, mechanically inclined, but is just one of those folks who can't seem to conform to social norms. His arrest record is rather lengthy. Over the past year, he has spent the majority of the time working out of state. Even when Chris was home last summer, he didn't take care of the house/yard. His girlfriend (Crystal) and her children have been living next door while he's been gone. The lawn would have gone unmowed all summer if Bill and their other neighbor hadn't mowed out of frustration. I suppose you get the idea that we aren't friends with our neighbors. We have never felt like we could trust him, so we have only met his girlfriend once or twice. The past two times Chris has come home for a few days, he's been carted off by the police for domestic violence. Thursday was the most recent time.

Today, there were several police-type cars next door and an ambulance. I saw the ambulance leave, without lights and sirens. I saw Chris' dad arrive. I feel much compassion for this man. I know what he feels. I came inside and called Bill to tell him that the police had been next door again. When Bill walked in the door, he told me that Crystal had killed herself. He had just talked to Chris' dad outside. I couldn't help but cry. I don't have any relationship with this girl, but my heart just sank. I didn't realize she had lost custody of her kids recently. (Their toys and a stroller are still in the front yard.) I'm pretty sure she was going to be told to leave the house. I have no idea what else might have been going on with her, but she certainly felt like there was no way to escape. She succumbed to hopelessness.

I am no stranger to depression. I have suffered from situational depression a couple of times in my life. To be completely honest, I am pretty certain that I am struggling with it presently. With that said, I have not once been suicidal. I want to live. I love my job. I want to grow old with mysweetwilliam. I feel hopeless about a particular situation, but I am not without hope. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I felt so sad about Crystal. I find it hard to comprehend losing all hope.

We learned tonight that Crystal had cried out for help a number of times this week. She was actually found today as a result of a "wellness check" because she had given information to some agency worker recently that she may be suicidal.

Although we are not friends on facebook, this is her last post.

If somebody you know writes something like this, please don't just comment "You better not or I'll come beat you up in heaven." If you think for even a second that this person is depressed or struggling, get in your car and sit with him/her. If you can't do that, call somebody close to that person or call 911. Take the person to the emergency room. Take it seriously. You might just save a life of somebody who just needs a reminder that life is worth living.

To write love on her arms... http://www.twloha.com/vision/