Guess where I ate lunch. What a great surprise. It really is just like the SNL skit.

I had hoped to go camping this weekend, but for whatever reason that wasn't in the cards. Outside of that, I really had no ideas for the weekend. Bill headed out this morning to watch our nephews play football. I decided that after a year and a half it might be time to get my hair cut. So, I went out for a walk. There's a nice salon right on the corner. I got my hair cut, then crossed to the opposite corner for lunch at the Mexican restaurant. Next, I ventured a little more and went down the road to a consignment store. There, I picked up a fall wreath priced at 94 cents. What a bargain, right? Well at the register, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the wreath was 50% off! I reached in my coin purse for 2 quarters and bought our new door wreath.

I thought it was funny when facebook suggested I befriend my ex-husband and when it suggested that I add his wife. We do know a lot of the same folks.

Today, facebook suggested that I might know my son.

Thanks facebook for the reminder that he'd rather be friends with people who got him in trouble, extended family, people he met in prison, and people he has only met once than befriend his father who sacrificed much for many years raising a child alone and me, the only mother he has ever known.

I have come to realize that mental illness is sometimes more difficult for the family than the "sufferer." I'm pretty sure that our suffering is much greater than his.

 

Thanks to our backdoor neighbors' over enthusiasm for growing their own tomatoes this year, I'm on batch two of chili for the 2011-12 season. I love chili, especially when the tomatoes are real- not from a can.
By next year, we're learning to can!

It was under 60 degrees in the house when I got up this morning. The heat has been turned on (pretty low) just to warm things up a bit. first time this season, and so it begins.

Dear Texas,
I miss your barbecue and your Mexican food. You also have awesome boots and some terrific music. Some of your towns are just dreamy, and I like a lot of your people. You're just too darn hot for me to truly love.

I'm sorry.

We have grown accustomed to seeing police cars next door over the past couple of years that we have lived here. Our neighbor, Chris seems to find trouble at every turn. He's very smart, mechanically inclined, but is just one of those folks who can't seem to conform to social norms. His arrest record is rather lengthy. Over the past year, he has spent the majority of the time working out of state. Even when Chris was home last summer, he didn't take care of the house/yard. His girlfriend (Crystal) and her children have been living next door while he's been gone. The lawn would have gone unmowed all summer if Bill and their other neighbor hadn't mowed out of frustration. I suppose you get the idea that we aren't friends with our neighbors. We have never felt like we could trust him, so we have only met his girlfriend once or twice. The past two times Chris has come home for a few days, he's been carted off by the police for domestic violence. Thursday was the most recent time.

Today, there were several police-type cars next door and an ambulance. I saw the ambulance leave, without lights and sirens. I saw Chris' dad arrive. I feel much compassion for this man. I know what he feels. I came inside and called Bill to tell him that the police had been next door again. When Bill walked in the door, he told me that Crystal had killed herself. He had just talked to Chris' dad outside. I couldn't help but cry. I don't have any relationship with this girl, but my heart just sank. I didn't realize she had lost custody of her kids recently. (Their toys and a stroller are still in the front yard.) I'm pretty sure she was going to be told to leave the house. I have no idea what else might have been going on with her, but she certainly felt like there was no way to escape. She succumbed to hopelessness.

I am no stranger to depression. I have suffered from situational depression a couple of times in my life. To be completely honest, I am pretty certain that I am struggling with it presently. With that said, I have not once been suicidal. I want to live. I love my job. I want to grow old with mysweetwilliam. I feel hopeless about a particular situation, but I am not without hope. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I felt so sad about Crystal. I find it hard to comprehend losing all hope.

We learned tonight that Crystal had cried out for help a number of times this week. She was actually found today as a result of a "wellness check" because she had given information to some agency worker recently that she may be suicidal.

Although we are not friends on facebook, this is her last post.

If somebody you know writes something like this, please don't just comment "You better not or I'll come beat you up in heaven." If you think for even a second that this person is depressed or struggling, get in your car and sit with him/her. If you can't do that, call somebody close to that person or call 911. Take the person to the emergency room. Take it seriously. You might just save a life of somebody who just needs a reminder that life is worth living.

To write love on her arms... http://www.twloha.com/vision/

I was just browsing Craigslist and came across this gem. Totally worth reading. I promise.

Yep, I broke out my little space heater tonight. I suppose I could put on long pants and a jacket instead, but that little heater makes things so cozy warm. It has been a dreary day.